8 rules for dating my teenage

He's been through braces (the most expensive metal on earth), kissing (do they have to use their lips?

), teen "logic" ("I asked if I could go out with Lindsey and you said no, so I went out with Courtney"), and, of course, dating, which leads to the 8 Simple Rules.

Having a child mutate into a teenager is a bit like being an airline passenger who must suddenly takeover for a stricken pilot and land the plane. With a book like this-an "owner's manual," if you will-you may learn enough to make it to the airport safely.

And in this case, the passengers are all yelling, "I hate you! Otherwise, you might as well go back and finish watching the movie with everybody else.

is an owner's manual for anyone who once had cute little girls and now has teenage daughters and is trying to figure out what happened.

Or maybe you've got a little girl, and are trying to figure out how to prevent her from becoming a teenager.

If you are experiencing some of the above warning signs, do not panic.

Follow the advice contained in this book and remain focused on your goal, which is to get the teenagers moved out of the house before they breed and the whole cycle begins again.

Warning Signs That You May Be Living with a Teenager- Your phone is always busy, so you put in a second line and it's always busy.- Your gas tank is always empty and your laundry basket is always full.- While you've generally been in favor of them up until now, suddenly "Miracle Bras" seem like a really bad idea.- You realize it's been more than a year since you haven't had to pay a late fee when you rent a video.- Your car insurance suddenly costs more than your car.(Good luck.) Or maybe you once were a teenage daughter.Or maybe you have an antique table that's crooked and need something about an inch thick to put under one of the legs.(Some sociologists decry the loss of the "generational home," where grandparents, parents, children, and grandchildren all live under the same roof.I've never heard such nonsense in my life.)Remember, you can get through this.

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